About Me

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Shortlisted Bath Short Story Award 2013 Runner-up Cinnamon Press Competition 2013 WNNER: Don Louth Writer of the Year (run by Reading Writers) WINNER: Bradt/Independent on Sunday Travel Writing Competition 2012. SHORTLISTED: Scott Prize (Salt Publishing) 2012 for a short story collection. Writer/ Journalist - assistant editor and writer for the art and books pages of Wolfprint. Most recently published in Independent on Sunday and short story anthologies: Sentinel Champions No 9, 100 Stories for Queensland, 50 Stories for Pakistan, 100 Stories for Haiti and From Hell to Eternity. In a recent writing competition, Joanne Harris described my writing as '...compelling (but quite creepy)'

Saturday, 19 December 2015

Life So Far

It has been an obscenely long time since I shared anything, personal or writing-wise, on this blog. Life continues to throw some challenges at me and there have been times when things are coming in from so many angles, I can’t catch them all.

I am lucky in a lot of ways – I am very proud of being able to work with my beloved wolves, to have brilliant friends and a funny feisty girl I adore.

Recently, I read about Sinéad O Connor and her meltdown with a certain amount of sympathy. It is a little too easy to judge someone when we are in a happy, sane, comfortable place. What drives someone to share and rant on social media can be a desperation, a sadness and an imbalance of sorts.

As writers, should we not communicate to others in depth, particularly on points that are meaningful to us? Writers like Matt Haig have opened themselves up to the world and talked in great depth and sensitivity about depression. It helps him, it helps others but of course it makes him vulnerable. I admire him for that.

Sadly, when we share – there will often be others who do not understand or choose to say cruel things to us, or just live to troll. I have always been a sharer, a communicator.

Ultimately, I would still like to think that I am a writer. I certainly love editing, writing and proofreading – but my own creative writing has recently taken a back seat due to unpleasant personal circumstances. I respect my daughter but she took a very hard decision to have nothing to do with her father when he walked out on us. She had some very serious problems and I made sure that she had a stable home, even when I had to fight to keep it. Every parent – every good parent – will understand that the tigress comes out when our offspring are threatened. However, when my mother was sent a vile message from my ex partner’s new wife, it gave me a very clear view of how they see me, how nasty they are together – which is rather sad. It is easier to blame me presumably than to look at the truth, of a man who leaves his sick partner and a vulnerable child. I have never used my daughter in any way, or denied her support. I did not choose to be a single parent and it has been bloody bloody hard, particularly with bad health and regular chemo. My discussions and arguments with my ex other half have been justifiably furious, considering how ill our daughter has been. That is OUR relationship, based on twenty years together in which we were incredibly close. I was his first love, his first proper girlfriend and we shared many beautiful moments together – including days in London when we took out the whole series of I, Claudius and watched it in bed. Lots of utterly wonderful times and a lot of laughter. I will not have that stolen from me. Ever.

Yet writers have a huge advantage – everything can be used and I am now writing a non-fiction book, that will hopefully help others. There will definitely be over-sharing in that.

In the spirit of over-sharing, I would like to share the badly-written and unbelievably nasty message sent my diabetic mother, who is nearly eighty years old. Facebook in one of its odd moments had attempted to add my ex’s wife as a friend – this is how she responded:

I am not completely sure what or who drove you to contact me and more to request my friendship?
By all respect, which I do not have for you or your daughter, somebody who needlessly attacks my family either directly or indirectly has no room in my life and also I have no need to have such people around me. I do not care if you were cajoled to do it or if it came directly from you, somebody of your age should know what is appropriate and what is just tasteless.
I was always hoping that you could be the voice of reason (my husband and my mum-in-law had nothing but nice things to say about you) and convince your daughter to move on, live her life instead of wasting it on some manufactured self-pitying lies, childish procrastination and endless bullyboy tactics not even stopping at involving her own daughter. Instead of being happy and making sure that her daughter has as many people in her life that love her and support her, she selfishly strips her of that right only for self-gratification purpose. If that is what you encourage and support then I feel only pity for you.

So, I have over-shared but this will be fuel and I will do well. It has been an awful four and a half years.

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Prizes and Writing Awards

  • Winner Bradt/Independent on Sunday Travel Writing Competition 2012
  • Shortlisted for Salt Publishing's Scott Prize for short story collections 2012
  • Finalist in Brit Writers' Award 2011
  • 2nd in Sentinel Literary Competition 2011
  • Whitechapel Society Anthology to be published 2010
  • Shortlisted for the Mslexia Short Story Competition 2009
  • Shortlisted for The Asham Award 2009
  • Joint winner of the Penguin/Decibel Prize 2008 - Asian Invisible. Published as The Map of Me
  • Highly Commended in The National Galleries of Scotland Short Story Competition 2008
  • Runner-up in Segora Short Story Prize 2008
  • Joint Winner of The Lancet Short Story Competition 2007: The Resurrection Girl.
  • Runner-up in Virgin Trains/The Guardian Short Story Competition 2007: A Small Revolution
  • Winner of the Woman and Home Short Story Competition 2006: Ghosts of Jamaica.
  • Shortlisted for The Asham Award 2005
  • Runner-up in the Good Housekeeping Short Story Competition 2003
  • Winner of The Sunday Telegraph Tourism for Tomorrow Travel Writing Competition 2002: Wolves of Rumania. Winner
  • Winner and also Winner of Most Original Short Story in the Competition in Trowell and District Writers' Competition 2006